Many parents struggle to harmonize work and personal life. And that cause them to regret as they can’t devote enough time for their children. Rather than drown over by guilt, why not think about the moments spent together, and what we can do to make the most of it? Because you have the power to make every moment make count when you’re with your kid. But if you don’t know how to spend more quality time with your child then this might be something you should read.
How to spend more quality time with your child:
First of all, let us return to the idea that comes up when we talk about this topic. And that is, do we choose between quality or the quantity of time spent. This representation is tenacious but irrelevant. The ideal family time is that which parents can and want to devote to it. And it is better to stop continuously wondering whether it is “enough” or “well-spent”. Because such thinking often causes permanent dissatisfaction, both on the part of the parents and children.
Avoid first of all ‘ritualizing’ certain moments spent with your children (evening reading, Friday cinema, Sunday walk …) which will inevitably end up taking on the aspect of a chore for them as for you. Instead, try to be spontaneous. Because it needs to come from your heart rather than maintaining some sort of schedule.
Also, if family activities are important, they do not need to be in the true sense, extraordinary. The most meaningful moments will not necessarily be the ones you will spend together in a Museum or in a famous amusement park. Having a good time with your children, it can be just tinkering, cooking while discussing anything. This is how the child understands that he is important to his parents.
So, all the ordinary activities of everyday life can be an opportunity to spend quality time with your child. Meals are particularly important in this regard. As they are first and foremost moments of essential sharing. As they allow children to follow a certain number of social rules that are valuable for a lifetime. That is why it is better to insist that the whole family eat together, at the same hours, and not each one as they wish.
On the other hand, homework is rarely a good way to spend quality time with your children. Yet many parents devote part of their evening to help their kids solving the math exercise, often at the cost of much tension. It is better to set a time frame, in which the child works independently which will let them be responsible for their work. In the case of real difficulties, you should help them with their studies. But let them be on their own while doing their work.
While not all parents have the flexibility to do so, some parents may be free to participate in a special activity organized at their child’s daycare center or school. Even if it is only once or twice a year (apple pie, Christmas party), your child will feel a mixture of joy and pride in seeing his / her parent become interested and integrated into their social world.
Divorced parents often feel even more guilty about their time spent with their children. And most of the times it becomes more of a competition between the parents. Because both feel compelled to “do” something with the child. But it is the wrong way. Instead, parents should devote time as they can to help the kid go through this tough transaction. Not overcompensating, but spending times as they usually would have.
You have the right not to have the desire or energy to participate in a common activity with your kid. Spending time together in the same room (he plays quietly in his corner, you read), sometimes it’s just enough. More generally, a child does not need to be the center of time spent together. But once in a while try to spend time with your kid. And try to be in that moment because that will make the time of being together special.